You have to trust that the place of your greatest pain is also the place where you will find your greatest gift. Do not run away from your brokenness. Stay with it. Your brokenness is not a dead end but a way through.
Arrive
There was a long season where I thought change meant I wouldn’t struggle anymore. I thought growth would feel like arriving - like one day things would just be different, and the pull toward old patterns wouldn’t be there like it used to be.
And when that didn’t happen, I started to wonder if something was wrong with me.
Receive
Have you ever found yourself in that space; believing that real change means the struggle disappears?
That if we’re growing, we shouldn’t feel the tension anymore. That if we’re moving forward, the old thoughts shouldn’t still show up.
But what I’ve started to realize is this:
Growth doesn’t mean the struggle is gone. Sometimes it means you’re finally aware of it.
It means you notice what you didn’t used to notice.
You recognize it instead of getting pulled in by it.
You feel the tension instead of numbing it.
And yeah - that can actually feel harder. Because not you’re in it and you see it clearly.
But that awareness isn’t failure. It’s progress. It may be God bringing things into the light that used to stay hidden.
It means something in you is changing. You’re not going back automatically anymore. You’re choosing differently - even if it‘s slow, even if it’s messy.
And that’s what real change often looks like.
Respond
If you still feel the pull sometimes, don’t assume nothing has changed.
Pay attention to how you respond to it now.
Where are you pausing?
Where are you choosing differently, even in small ways?
That tension you feel might not be a sign you’re stuck. It might be a sign you’re actually growing and working through fighting the temptation or struggle.
You don’t have to be free from the struggle to be moving forward. Take the next right step!
On Repeat
“This is not a breakdown, it’s a breakthrough.”
That line has been sitting with me this week. Because I think I’ve been expecting change to feel like things are finally coming together.
Less tension.
Less resistance.
Less of that sense that everything could still fall apart.
But what if that’s not how it always works? What if some of the moments that feel like breaking are actually where something deeper is being built?
Even if it looks or feels like rock bottom. Even if it still feels like a struggle.
Maybe the ground feels different not because it’s easier - but because it’s finally strong enough to hold something new. A better foundation!
Enjoy this week’s On Repeat.
In Christ,
Ben
